The Nick White Show: “Nick’s Ukrainian Adventure”

From the video description:

Nick is thrilled with the “Ukrainian visit” video Pádraig helped him make, but will his manager and publicist approve?

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

Mr. White, why is there a UFO in your visit to Ukraine?”
“Well, Sally, because that’s where UFOs come from.”
“Really? I thought they came from outer space.”
“Common misconception, dear. I used to think that too until Pádraig set me straight.”
“Oh…OK. Well, I guess as the director of the video, Pádraig knows best.”
“Yes, he knows so much more abut that sort of thing than I did. For example, did you know the IRA are sending lady mercenary units to fight in Ukraine?”
“No, I never heard that, Mr. White.”
“Me neither! See, Pádraig has all the insider information to make my Ukrainian war video so much more realistic than bloody Bono’s!”
“Er… yes, Mr. White.”
“I mean, sure we shot it all in the studio 2 live room, but I felt like I was really there on the front lines. I’m hoping from now on hot young bimbos will fall to their knees to thank me for my service. And then offer me their services.”

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The Nick White Show: “Nick’s Ukrainian Film Shoot”

From the video description:

This week Nick is busy on location (in his studio) filming his visit to Ukraine with the help of his pal Pádraig, who’s all too happy to lend his artistic vision to ensuring the video is a real hit.

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

“My God, Sally, the savagery I have suffered through in order to further my art…”
“Yes, Mr. White, you were very brave.”
Pádraig said he thinks we might win an Irish Oscar for my Ukraine video, but I think we have a real shot of winning a real Oscar instead.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful, Mr. White!”
“Be sure to update my Wikipedia the second those nominations are announced, love.”
“Yes, Mr. White.”
“And don’t forget the Nobel Peace Prize! I hear when you win one of those, they give you a whole crate of free dynamite.”
“Really?”
“Oh yes, it’s all the same company. I can’t wait to test it out on Richard’s BMW… also that old hag Mrs. Collins down the block from me who’s always bitching that my car stereo is too loud. Well, she can kiss that ugly RV of hers ker-ploom when I get my Nobel Peace dynamite!”

Read moreThe Nick White Show: “Nick’s Ukrainian Film Shoot”

The Nick White Show: “Nick’s Ukrainian Casting Couch”

From the video description:

Spurred on by his manager’s demands for more publicity, Nick has decided to film a video about the war in the Ukraine, complete with Ukrainian beauties.

And he’s not going to let an actual Ukrainian’s opinions get in the way of his vision.

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

“That was such a fun day at the audition, wasn’t it, Sally?”
“I suppose so, Mr. White.”
“Except for bloody Dickhead showing up and chasing that one blonde away. That was rather unfortunate.”
“Yes, Mr. White.”
“Can’t wait til we shoot this video. Especially the mud wrestling scene… hey, Sally, how would you like to throw on a bikini and rehearse that mud wrestling scene with me later?”
“Oh, um… well…”
“Hmmm… What if I break out the tequila first?”
“Well, maybe.”

Read moreThe Nick White Show: “Nick’s Ukrainian Casting Couch”

The Nick White Show: “Nick’s Manager”

From the video description:

Nick is talking at Pádraig about the Met Gala when his manager pops in to nag him about his new album (or lack thereof).

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

“It was nice of Suzy to pop by and say hello, Sally. Too bad that’s not all she said.”
“Well, Mr. White, I can understand why Zosime has so much to say, being your manager and all.”
“Manager’s assistant.”
“Right. That’s what I meant, Mr. White.”
“Have you heard anything from Mark about when he’s back from vacation?”
“Well, no, Mr. White, but he did a send a postcard from Tahiti not too long ago.”
“Really? What does it say?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I thought it was a personal note so I just put it on your desk without reading it.”
“Well, go fetch it and read it to me.”
“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather read it yourself?”
“Yes, I need to rest my eyes. I just had them lifted and I don’t want to get any fresh crow’s feet from squinting at Mark’s handwriting.”
“OK, Mr. White. I think it says ‘Greetings from Tahiti, so long sucker! Glad you’re not here.'”
“Ah, that Mark always had a wry sense of humor. Can’t wait til he’s back to tell me what sorts of exotic social diseases he’s catching down there in the South Pacific.”

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The Nick White Show: “Paris’ Perfume”

From the video description:

Atlanta and Paris are arguing about Paris’ exorbitant spending in her pursuit to bag a billionaire… until Nick shows up and gives Paris some unwanted pointers about what she’s really lacking.

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

“That awful showrunner woman took her time building the set for this one, Sally. But once again, she wouldn’t listen to my good ideas, like building the walls out of bricks of cocaine.”
“Well, that’s probably for the best, Mr. White. I don’t think Mr. Garcetti would want you snorting the walls of his strip club.”
“Nonsense! Luigi and I get along just fine! He’s just too busy to answer the phone when I call, that’s all.”

Read moreThe Nick White Show: “Paris’ Perfume”

The Nick White Show: “Meet Pádraig Ó Seachnasaigh” (Interview)

From the video description:

In the second of our interviews introducing the cast, music journalist Ginger Babczak sits down with Pádraig Ó Seachnasaigh, the DJ at Lucky Luigi’s Lingerie Lounge, which is next door to Nick White’s recording studio and thus the perfect hangout for the merry band of “eejits” from there.

Pádraig seems like a rather friendly bloke… at first… well, depending on your pedigree… anyway, he spills some tea about Nick et al.

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

Sally, what does ‘gowl’ mean?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Mr. White. I think it must be Irish for ‘friend.'”
“Ah, yes, that makes sense. But then what did Pádraig mean when he said it was ‘great craic’ to watch me fuck up?”
“Well, he must have meant that it makes him very sad.”
“I’ll never understand why the Irish have to have their own weird slang for everything. Just speak bloody English like we taught you lot! It’s like they think they have their own country and culture or something!”
“Oh, Mr. White, I don’t think you should say such things to Pádraig. You know how upset he gets.”
“Some people just can’t handle the truth, Sally.”

Read moreThe Nick White Show: “Meet Pádraig Ó Seachnasaigh” (Interview)

The Nick White Show: “The Slap”

From the video description:

Nick just wants to read (or at least look at the pictures in) the latest issue of Hot Yacht Action before bedtime, but his wife Joanne ambushes him with some pesky questions inspired by the infamous Oscar slap.

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

“My God, Sally, what a bloody nightmare to film this one. I was stuck in bed with Mrs. White for almost 2 weeks waiting for that awful woman who runs this show to get her shit together and finish filming.”
“Hmph!”
“I know! I thought I’d never get away and be free to bang bimbos again!”
“Hmph!”
“What’s the matter, love?”
“Nothing, Mr. White.”
“Did you miss me around the studio when I was gone?”
“Well… I mean…”
“Aww… anyway, Sally, was there any good gossip while I was away filming?”
“Bono won another prestigious prize. The Fulbright prize for International Understanding.”
“Hmph! How dare he! I should have won that instead!”
“But it’s an international relations prize, Mr. White.”
“Yes, well, I’ve had plenty of international relations. In fact, I’ve had relations in over 120 nations around the planet. Nobody’s had more international relations than me! Not even Gene Simmons!”
“Yes, Mr. White.”
“Bad enough I had to spend two weeks in bed with Mrs. White, but Bono stole another award from me while I was imprisoned? Goddamn it! Sally, write these awful Fulbright people a nasty letter admonishing them for not giving that prize to me instead!”
“Right away, Mr. White.”

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The Nick White Show: “Meet Nick White” (Interview)

From the video description:

In the first of our interviews introducing the cast, music journalist Ginger Babczak sits down with legendary rock singer-songwriter Nick White to find out just what the Hell is wrong with him… er, to get his opinions on his fellow castmates or whatever.

And to hear him piss and moan about a more popular professional rival… boo hoo…

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

“Good Lord, Sally, what a nightmare. That interviewer woman refused to take her top off and didn’t even want to talk about yachts with me! Even worse, the groupies got all camera-shy and only wanted to fake pleasuring me instead of actually doing their duty by me for real.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Mr. White.”
“See, this is why we never should have let women into music journalism. Back in the ’80s it was almost all men and groupies did whatever you told them. Hell, sometimes you didn’t even need to tell them, they knew what they were doing… of course, those were the ones you usually got a fresh dose of the clap from. Speaking of which, did you pick up my prescription for me?”
“Yes, Mr. White.”
“No, no… I wasn’t talking about my ointment and penicillin, I meant did you pick up my Percocets?”
“Oh… um, the pharmacy said they were all out.”
“Bloody Hell… well, don’t just stand there. Phone my dealer!”
“Yes, Mr. White.”

Read moreThe Nick White Show: “Meet Nick White” (Interview)

The Nick White Show: “Paddy’s Day” (skit)

From the video description:

This week Nick is a bit confused about why Pádraig was drunk last week, as well as still being sore over his poker losings.

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

Sally, what day is it today?”
“Tuesday, Mr. White.”
“Bloody Hell… did I forget to show up to that nasty showrunner woman‘s filming thing?”
“No, Mr. White, she got the footage she needed.”
“Hmm… I don’t remember any of it. I was at the boobie bar and Pádraig ordered a bottle of whisky and the next thing it’s this morning and I’m naked in my office, with 5 angry voicemails from my accountant and some woman’s lipstick all over my nether regions… must have been a good weekend!”

Read moreThe Nick White Show: “Paddy’s Day” (skit)

The Nick White Show – Series Trailer (March 2022)

First series trailer.

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

Sally! That awful showrunner woman didn’t use any of the artistic nudes I took of myself when she wasn’t looking! Bloody Philistine!”
“Oh… well, I’m sure it’s just that YouTube doesn’t allow that sort of thing.”
“Well, they should!”
“Yes, Mr. White.”
“How else are we supposed to get ladies excited to watch the show if we can’t show them the goods?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Mr. White, but I think the show creator said something about running ads?”
“Hmph… and I never did get the 8-ball of cocaine I demanded in my rider, either.”
“Should I call your dealer, Mr. White?”
“Yes, damn it!”

Read moreThe Nick White Show – Series Trailer (March 2022)