Luigi Garcetti

“Shall we mention Luigi, love?”
“Oh yes, we should definitely mention Mr. Garcetti.”
“Of course. After all, Starboard Sound wouldn’t be here had I not bought the property from him.”
“I’ve never actually met Mr. Garcetti, what should I say?”
“Oh he’s great fun! You should probably ask his lawyer what to say in the bio, though.”
“Yes, Mr. White.”

My client, Luigi Garcetti, is a very sweet and deeply religious man who has spent the majority of his 90+ years on this planet working hard to support his large and loving family and to battle against the very harmful distortions that the lying bastards in the media and in Hollywood films have put out about him. He deserves to live out whatever few precious years he has remaining in the comfort of his home and free from the malicious persecutions of a vindictive prosecutor with an axe to grind and apparently nothing better to do.

PS: No, my client did not assassinate Adolf Hitler, but he remains very happy that someone else did.