FAQ with Nick White

What made you decide to star in a web series?

Web series? You mean on the internet with all the pornography? I was told this was airing on a network that gets 30 million viewers a day!

Anyway, what made you want to do this show?

Well, I thought Ozzy did alright for himself with his reality TV show and he even managed to get rid of that wife of his for a while, so I thought I might try the same tactic and hope for a similar result.

Reality TV show? I thought the creator said it was a sitcom?

Oh, y’know… women! They really have no idea what they’re doing when it comes to entertainment. We just hire them for the eye candy and free blowjobs whenever they want promotions.

What’s been the biggest challenge so far?

The woman who does the show keeps insisting I have to wear pants when the cameras are on. I don’t think she understands how this whole internet video thing works.

What made you get into the music business?

I remember as a kid hearing that that actress Ann-Margaret was sleeping with Elvis and I thought it sounded like a rather easy career path with some rather nice perky “rewards.” Of course, by the time my debut album came out in 1979 Ann Margaret was almost 40, no longer perky, and far too old for my liking, but there were plenty of other tramps to make up for it.

Where do you see the show going in the next 5 years?

Do they give out Oscars for reality TV shows? I think I ought to win one for showing up to this thing.