Meet Nick White

“What should I say about you, Mr. White?”
“Did Suzy not send you my latest bio to paste in?”
“No, sir. Which Suzy? There’s 47 girls named Suzy in your little black book and a combined 253 Susies, Suzies, Susans, Suzannes, and Suzannas.”
“Now, Sally, you know Suzy! From my manager’s office.”
“Oh, I thought her name was Zosime.”
“Yes, that’s what I said. Suzy.”
“OK, I’ll try Zosime again, but last time I phoned her she said she had better things to do and not to bug her unless you were on fire such that she could come over and roast marshmallows over your charred corpse.”
“Ah, Suzy’s thinks I’m hot, isn’t that adorable?”
“Well, in the meantime, while I’m waiting for Zosime to send over the proper bio, what should I say?”
“Oh, I’m sure you can come up with something, darling. Y’know, tell it like it is. Now, be quiet, I’m going into my office to sleep off this hangover.”

Nick White is a very successful singer-songwriter best known for his erotically charged 1980s arena rock anthems. He is married to his bitchy third wife Joanne who doesn’t cook or clean but does drive him to drink.

Mr. White likes yachts, naps, and slutty bimbos who only care about his money and will never love him like I will he deserves.

He plays guitar and owns 4 houses, 5 racehorses, a Porsche, a yacht, a recording studio, and three shopping malls in Costa Rica.

View Nick’s interview video here.