The Nick White Show: “Nick’s Ukrainian Adventure”

From the video description:

Nick is thrilled with the “Ukrainian visit” video Pádraig helped him make, but will his manager and publicist approve?

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

Mr. White, why is there a UFO in your visit to Ukraine?”
“Well, Sally, because that’s where UFOs come from.”
“Really? I thought they came from outer space.”
“Common misconception, dear. I used to think that too until Pádraig set me straight.”
“Oh…OK. Well, I guess as the director of the video, Pádraig knows best.”
“Yes, he knows so much more abut that sort of thing than I did. For example, did you know the IRA are sending lady mercenary units to fight in Ukraine?”
“No, I never heard that, Mr. White.”
“Me neither! See, Pádraig has all the insider information to make my Ukrainian war video so much more realistic than bloody Bono’s!”
“Er… yes, Mr. White.”
“I mean, sure we shot it all in the studio 2 live room, but I felt like I was really there on the front lines. I’m hoping from now on hot young bimbos will fall to their knees to thank me for my service. And then offer me their services.”

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The Nick White Show: “Nick’s Manager”

From the video description:

Nick is talking at Pádraig about the Met Gala when his manager pops in to nag him about his new album (or lack thereof).

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

“It was nice of Suzy to pop by and say hello, Sally. Too bad that’s not all she said.”
“Well, Mr. White, I can understand why Zosime has so much to say, being your manager and all.”
“Manager’s assistant.”
“Right. That’s what I meant, Mr. White.”
“Have you heard anything from Mark about when he’s back from vacation?”
“Well, no, Mr. White, but he did a send a postcard from Tahiti not too long ago.”
“Really? What does it say?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I thought it was a personal note so I just put it on your desk without reading it.”
“Well, go fetch it and read it to me.”
“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather read it yourself?”
“Yes, I need to rest my eyes. I just had them lifted and I don’t want to get any fresh crow’s feet from squinting at Mark’s handwriting.”
“OK, Mr. White. I think it says ‘Greetings from Tahiti, so long sucker! Glad you’re not here.'”
“Ah, that Mark always had a wry sense of humor. Can’t wait til he’s back to tell me what sorts of exotic social diseases he’s catching down there in the South Pacific.”

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The Nick White Show: “Paris’ Perfume”

From the video description:

Atlanta and Paris are arguing about Paris’ exorbitant spending in her pursuit to bag a billionaire… until Nick shows up and gives Paris some unwanted pointers about what she’s really lacking.

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

“That awful showrunner woman took her time building the set for this one, Sally. But once again, she wouldn’t listen to my good ideas, like building the walls out of bricks of cocaine.”
“Well, that’s probably for the best, Mr. White. I don’t think Mr. Garcetti would want you snorting the walls of his strip club.”
“Nonsense! Luigi and I get along just fine! He’s just too busy to answer the phone when I call, that’s all.”

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The Nick White Show: “Paddy’s Day” (skit)

From the video description:

This week Nick is a bit confused about why Pádraig was drunk last week, as well as still being sore over his poker losings.

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

Sally, what day is it today?”
“Tuesday, Mr. White.”
“Bloody Hell… did I forget to show up to that nasty showrunner woman‘s filming thing?”
“No, Mr. White, she got the footage she needed.”
“Hmm… I don’t remember any of it. I was at the boobie bar and Pádraig ordered a bottle of whisky and the next thing it’s this morning and I’m naked in my office, with 5 angry voicemails from my accountant and some woman’s lipstick all over my nether regions… must have been a good weekend!”

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