Meet Joanne White

Note from April 2023: I intended to get all these interviews with music “journalist” Ginger Babczak shot and posted before getting into the real skits of the show, but it didn’t pan out that way and only the first two in the series with Nick and Pádraig ended up getting made. So, rather than drag it out when the show’s been underway for over a year now, or spend time on shooting and editing these old interviews rather than new skits, I decided to just post them as text.

Basically: some background info and extra jokes on the characters. And I backdated these to when they were scheduled to appear originally.

Why no commentary from Nick and Sally on these interviews, unlike the videos? Well… you really think Nick can read? LOL…

Enjoy… I hope… and of course the standard show disclaimer applies…

(Ginger is sitting alone in the live room of studio 4 in front of an empty sofa where Nick’s wife Joanne is supposed to be. She looks at her watch… again…)

GINGER: Goddamn it, Nick’s wife was supposed to be here almost an hour ago.

(She picks up her phone and dials.)

GINGER (muttering): Answer, you bitch.

(We now see Joanne, getting rammed doggy-style by her personal trainer, Hans Hess.)

JOANNE: Hans… Hans… oh my god…

HANS: Vee must loosen up das hip flexor, ja?

JOANNE: Ja… ja… ja…

(Her phone rings on the floor next to decline press bench she is bent over.)

JOANNE: Goddamn it, who’s phoning me? It’s not shit for brains, is it?

(Hans glances at the call display.)

HANS: Nein, das ist nicht Nick Vhite.

JOANNE: Fuck… gimme that.

(He does and she answers, breathless and annoyed.)

JOANNE: What!?

GINGER: Hello, Mrs. White, it’s Ginger Babczak and —

JOANNE: Yeah, what do you want?

GINGER: We were supposed to do an interview about your husband’s new show an hour ago, are you coming?

JOANNE (muttering): I was before you called.


JOANNE (normal voice): Um, yeah, sorry, something came up.

OK, well, we can reschedule. I can do later this afternoon or tomorrow.

JOANNE: Naw, you know what, I really don’t have much to say about shit for brains, er, I mean, my sweetie’s new show. Let’s just call it off.

GINGER: Oh. Um, OK. Well… if you change your mind, let me know, we’d love to have your input.

JOANNE: Yeah, whatever.

(Joanne hangs up and throws the phone aside.)

HANS: Input? You vanting more input, ja?

JOANNE: Ja… ja… oh yeah… lots more input…