Zosime Xenakis

The Nick White Show: “Nick’s MFA Project”

From the video description:

Inspired by a recent “artistic collaboration” video put out by his arch-rival, Nick’s made a “rather arty and innovative” new music video… but for some reason his manager doesn’t seem to approve.

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

“I don’t know why Suzy didn’t like the new music video, Sally. It was absolutely brilliant.”
“Er, yes, Mr. White.”
“What? Don’t you agree?”
“Um, well… it’s just that I don’t really understand modern art, Mr. White.”
“Oh, what’s to understand? You just make something vulgar and if anyone says they don’t like it, you call them an uncultured buffoon.”
“And if someone says they do like it?”
“Then you charge them $12 million for it, love.”
“Oh. I see.”

Read moreThe Nick White Show: “Nick’s MFA Project”

The Nick White Show: “Nick’s Ukrainian Adventure”

From the video description:

Nick is thrilled with the “Ukrainian visit” video Pádraig helped him make, but will his manager and publicist approve?

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

“Mr. White, why is there a UFO in your visit to Ukraine?”
“Well, Sally, because that’s where UFOs come from.”
“Really? I thought they came from outer space.”
“Common misconception, dear. I used to think that too until Pádraig set me straight.”
“Oh…OK. Well, I guess as the director of the video, Pádraig knows best.”
“Yes, he knows so much more abut that sort of thing than I did. For example, did you know the IRA are sending lady mercenary units to fight in Ukraine?”
“No, I never heard that, Mr. White.”
“Me neither! See, Pádraig has all the insider information to make my Ukrainian war video so much more realistic than bloody Bono’s!”
“Er… yes, Mr. White.”
“I mean, sure we shot it all in the studio 2 live room, but I felt like I was really there on the front lines. I’m hoping from now on hot young bimbos will fall to their knees to thank me for my service. And then offer me their services.”

Read moreThe Nick White Show: “Nick’s Ukrainian Adventure”

The Nick White Show: “Nick’s Manager”

From the video description:

Nick is talking at Pádraig about the Met Gala when his manager pops in to nag him about his new album (or lack thereof).

Nick and Sally’s commentary:

“It was nice of Suzy to pop by and say hello, Sally. Too bad that’s not all she said.”
“Well, Mr. White, I can understand why Zosime has so much to say, being your manager and all.”
“Manager’s assistant.”
“Right. That’s what I meant, Mr. White.”
“Have you heard anything from Mark about when he’s back from vacation?”
“Well, no, Mr. White, but he did a send a postcard from Tahiti not too long ago.”
“Really? What does it say?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I thought it was a personal note so I just put it on your desk without reading it.”
“Well, go fetch it and read it to me.”
“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather read it yourself?”
“Yes, I need to rest my eyes. I just had them lifted and I don’t want to get any fresh crow’s feet from squinting at Mark’s handwriting.”
“OK, Mr. White. I think it says ‘Greetings from Tahiti, so long sucker! Glad you’re not here.'”
“Ah, that Mark always had a wry sense of humor. Can’t wait til he’s back to tell me what sorts of exotic social diseases he’s catching down there in the South Pacific.”

Read moreThe Nick White Show: “Nick’s Manager”