NOTE: THIS SHOW IS SATIRE. NOTHING IN THIS SHOW IS REAL.
THE “PEOPLE” APPEARING OR BEING MENTIONED IN THIS SHOW DO NOT EXIST AND DO NOT REPRESENT ANY KNOWN ACTUAL PEOPLE IN ANY KNOWN ACTUAL REALITY, EVEN IF YOU (MISTAKENLY) THINK THEY DO.
ANY CELEBRITIES MENTIONED OR APPEARING IN THIS SHOW ARE ENTIRELY FICTIONALIZED. BESIDES, HAS ANYONE ACTUALLY MET ANY OF THESE PEOPLE? THEY’RE PROBABLY ALL CGI ANYWAY… BUT IN ANY CASE, THEY DEFINITELY MOSTLY EXIST SOLELY AS FIGMENTS OF THEIR FANBASES’ COLLECTIVE IMAGINATIONS WITH NO RESEMBLANCE TO THE ACTUAL PEOPLE IN THE PAPARAZZI PICTURES.
THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS SHOW COME OUT OF THE EMPTY PLASTIC HEADS OF DOLLS AND SHOULD BE COMPLETELY DISREGARDED ACCORDINGLY.
DO NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH ANYONE ON THE SHOW. THEY ALL HAVE V.D. — OR AT LEAST THE MAIN CHARACTERS DO. ESPECIALLY RICHARD AND NICK: DON’T EVEN BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS THOSE TWO.
ANY RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN PÁDRAIG’S ACCENT AND A CERTAIN CEREAL SPOKES-LEPRECHAUN’S IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
NOBODY SHOULD WATCH THIS SHOW… ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE EASILY OFFENDED. EITHER WAY, DON’T WATCH. GO PLAY OUTSIDE.
THE CREATOR OF THIS SHOW IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGES OR INJURIES OCCURRING SHOULD YOU TAKE HER ADVICE TO GO PLAY OUTSIDE, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: SLIP AND FALL, ROAD RAGE, RANDOM DRIVE-BY SHOOTINGS, HAYFEVER OR OTHER ALLERGIC REACTIONS, WEIGHT LOSS DUE TO UNPLANNED EXERCISE, BEING EATEN BY POLAR BEARS OR OTHER LARGE PREDATORS, SEEING FAT DUDES IN TINY SPEEDOS, EXPOSURE TO YOUR NEIGHBORS’ KIDS’ TERRIBLE MUSIC, BEING CRUSHED BY FALLING PUBLIC ART INSTALLATIONS OR COLLAPSING BRIDGES, ANAL PROBING BY CURIOUS EXTRATERRESTRIALS, BEING RUN OVER BY CARELESS WOMAN DRIVERS, SUNSTROKE, HYPOTHERMIA, BEING STAMPEDED BY RUNAWAY CIRCUS ELEPHANTS, GETTING SHOT BY COPS, BEING MACED BY KARENS, SMELLING YOUR LOCAL PULP MILL, DROWNING, DEATH BY IMPACT OF PENNIES THROWN FROM THE TOPS OF SKYSCRAPERS, GETTING RABIES FROM RABID RACOONS…